Hi, my name is Scott and I'm and addict. That is something I say at least once a day in every 12 step meeting I attend. For folks not in recovery the 12 step programs can be hard to understand. People who have had a loved on go into recovery can sometimes be resentful of 12 step programs for the amount of time the demand from the recovering persons life. Some people refuse to see addiction as a disease and just think that 12 step meetings are groups that excuse bad behavior as addictions.
There are three things I know. I am an addict, addiction is a disease that affects the midbrain and 12 step programs have been saving my life for the last 8 weeks. I know, many of you I probably lost when I said addiction is a disease. You are probably thinking that diabetes or cancer are diseases but addictions are just bad behaviors. Well we know know that addicts have distinct similarities in the structures of their brains that are different than those found in non-addicted individuals. We also know that behaviors can be addictions. In recent years when a celebrity lands in the news for sex addiction many people are quick to judge that it can't be an addiction and that they are just using it as smoke to cover bad behavior. Brain scans of alcoholics, drug addicts, and sex addicts all show the same thing. When they think about using their drug of choice or acting out, the same exact areas of the brain are activated. Addictions to sex, work, codependency, and eating disorders all fall under the title of process addictions. Addictions to drugs and alcohol fall under the category of substance addictions. Regardless of whether they are process or substance they all work much the same way.
So what kind of addict am I? I am an alcoholic, a drug addict, a work addict, a codependent, and a sex addict. Seems like a lot right? Well it is. Regardless of what anyone may think, I never asked for any of it. Where does addiction start? Many now have come to believe that we can be genetically predisposed to addiction. Many also agree that the environment in which we are raised can play a huge role as to whether or not someone goes on to develop an addiction. There is also plenty of evidence that supports the idea that certain phases of our development can be affected in a way that contributes to the development of addiction later in life. When you take all of those factors into account, my history was the perfect storm for an addiction to develop.
Am I just making excuses for my behavior and decisions I have made? Absolutely not! I am a person with the disease of addiction. I will have this disease for the rest of my life, but I will not hide behind it. I hold myself accountable for everything I have done in my addiction. I also hold myself accountable for these 56 days clean and sober and behavior free that I have currently built up, one day at a time.
I am going to try and update this blog everyday. Stop back in and continue reading my story. Hopefully it may provide you some insight about yourself, a loved one, or just the world of addiction.
Thanks,
Scott
11/25/2013
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