Monday, January 6, 2014

Recovery, it's not just for the addict.

Recover is a frustrating process.  As addicts in recovery we work very hard at living differently and we are sometimes saddened that our efforts don't bring a change in attitudes from those close to us.  In our minds, every day is an eternity and we have been clean for 9 days.  We can't begin to understand why our spouses, parent's, or children continue to treat us as if we were in active addiction.  The answer lies in the fact that those close to us have their own recovery to do.  Whether our addiction was alcohol, drugs, sex, eating disorder, gambling, or spending, we are not the only victims of the disease.  Anyone close to us has been affected by our addiction.  They are wary of being hurt again.  Many of them have been exposed to the term relapse and the fear that comes with it as they have attempted to learn about our illness.
Recovery would be much easier if we all came  equipped with a digital display on our foreheads that would show where we were in our recovery process.  There are no published guidelines that tell us when to expect different stages of our recovery to take place.  Everyone has a different timeline and that includes our family members.  The key to relief for me in this situation is the lessons taught in step one.  I am powerless over my addiction and I have to surrender to myself to so much in my recovery process.  I am also powerless over other people's recovery processes and timelines.  All I can do is keep doing the next right thing and working my program. In time one of two things will happen.  People will either decide that they like the change that they see and choose to be a part of my life or they will decide that they are not interested in being part of my life.  I have no control over that other than just working on myself and my recovery.  The concept gives me both fear and relief, but that is just rigorous honesty talking.

No comments:

Post a Comment